


I Feel Love

by mellovesall



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M, olicity - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-29
Updated: 2015-10-03
Packaged: 2018-04-17 19:10:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 19,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4678094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mellovesall/pseuds/mellovesall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>**A fateful meeting brings Felicity Smoak, an Empath, into the life of Oliver Queen.**<br/>AU eventual Olicity. Rated M for violence and language. This story began as a one-shot from my Leather and Silk ficlet collection.</p><p>Flashbacks will be bold and italicized.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

A wave of dark, suffocating pain slammed through Felicity as she sat sipping on a glass of wine, chatting with friends at a bar. She carefully set her glass down as she took deep, full breaths fighting against the nausea that followed.

She looked around the festive, half drunk crowd at the neighborhood happy hour for any sign of who was hurting.

Being caught off guard by someone else's emotions was highly unusual. Her psychic walls had been impenetrable for many, many years. She hadn't experienced a "blind side" since she was an early teen, when first developing her "gift" as her Grandmama used to call it.

Puberty had hit and with that biological change, came a familial inheritance. Felicity was an Empath. She was able to acutely feel other's emotions and feelings. It skipped generations in her mother's family, so she was the lucky one.

She felt what others felt and she felt it with her entire being. Her grandmother was a cherished and well loved Empath in the little southern town where she lived helping people through their grief, their pain and their happiness. She was a good friend, a beloved neighbor and valued counselor.

After early incidents that had left Felicity paralyzed under the bombardment of the humanity that surrounded her, she learned to control and filter the feelings around her. So, by the time she turned 14 she could walk into a room full of people and not be squashed by their emotions.

She had full control of her gift, until now. She chose when and with whom she opened her mind and heart to. What was happening right now was unexplainable.

She lifted a hand to her temple as another stab of emotional pain, intense and hemorrhaging, blinded her. For a second, she couldn't see the people in front of her.

This person was in so much psychological agony Felicity didn't know how they could breathe. Her natural instinct to help, sprung to life. All the sounds around her went silent as her heart reached out trying to find them.

As she concentrated, her senses touching and tasting the auras in the room, she finally saw him. Sitting by the window, at a table with three other people, sat a man who looked so out of place yet, like he was born to be there. He was stunning in a rugged, yet incredibly sensual way.

His aura intermittently pulsed between icy, cold blue and angry, turbulent purple. The man was extremely handsome, but aloof, almost brittle. He gave off a vibe of steely resolve, strength and sleekness, almost animalistic. Predatory and beautiful. Felicity crossed her legs as the image of a panther came to mind. Her body flushed in reaction.

He nodded to whatever the people at his table were saying. Those around him were laughing and smiling so that his stillness stood out even more. Like the world was moving on and he was sitting still.

Whatever he was going through in his life he was obviously keeping it private and trying to deal with it alone. Something or someone had hurt him. She sensed that his innate strength was forged from tragedy. Her appreciation for this stranger increased as she equated the level of his pain to the fact that he sat in this room, carrying on with his life and choosing to move forward.

The woman sitting to his left, with a strong family resemblance, placed her hand on his arm as she animatedly talked at him and with the others.  
The strongest feeling of unease traveled up Felicity's arm. She felt a flash of discomfort at being touched mixed with warmth and love towards the woman. A tug-of-war between uncomfortableness and affection.

His lashes dipped as he blinked slowly, his eyes closing as another wave of emotional distress and sadness hit Felicity. She gasped from the impact just as he opened his eyes to look directly at her. They were both breathing hard as they each worked through his agony.

Felicity felt more than his pain now. With the stroke of his eyes on her, lust surged through her body as she got lost in the beauty of the man.  
His brow crinkled as he looked at her, not understanding why she seemed to be in pain too and staring at him. He tipped his head as he tried to discern what she was going through. In a room full of noise and people, they...connected. Moments, beats in time, passed with a silent link of shared understanding.

The threads of their connection begun to shimmer and tingle with something other than his pain. It was replaced with his curiosity and his…interest.

He turned his head away, almost in shyness, from her knowing eyes to look down at his hand on the table. His fingers rubbing together like he was missing something between them. When next he looked up at her, his aura was the faintest mix of green and red. A fierce, forest green with a splash of brilliant, fiery red.


	2. Chapter 2

Felicity couldn't help smiling at the change in his aura. Just a small smile, that ended up a bit lopsided because she was really trying not to.

She knew she had a part in making him forget his pain, even for just a moment and she liked that. She liked that a lot.

His red aura was riveting in its sparks of warmth, but it was his green that was breathtaking. It was simultaneously soothing, showing his poise, yet powerful. He was savage, wild, and confident like the panther she envisioned. It drew her in, so all she wanted to do was rub up against him. Yes, his green, he wore it exceptionally well.

He held her glance with a gaze that spoke of his curiosity of her then...regret flickered and it all just... stopped. All at once, Felicity felt...nothing. She saw no colors and no longer felt connected. She was adrift and didn’t like it. What was going on with her gift tonight? She took stock of her psyche and knew it wasn’t her. She looked back up at him as she realized, it had to have been he who broke the connection.

She just had a virtual door slammed and locked in her face. He looked so hardened now, like he had put on battle armor. Felicity shivered with profound loss at his forced isolation and the loss of...him.

~~~~~~~~~~

"Right, Ollie?" Thea asked as she continued her conversation with their childhood friends Sara and Tommy.

"Um, right." Oliver replied as he tried not to look back over at the table where the woman sat. He wanted to stare at her all night and soak up all that she was. She was beautiful and bold in her open staring, but strange..there was just something about her. She intrigued him. Oliver was used to blatant interest from both males and females, but this time was different. She was different. She seemed to vibrate with an energy that captivated him. It felt like she shared his burdens. As if she saw through his barriers to the man beneath. The man who no longer lived in the light. 

It tempted him like he hadn’t been tempted in so long. He was so caught up in her, that he would have done something stupid. He would have gotten up and gone to her, if she had not smiled. That incredibly warm, lopsided smile that reminded him, he did not deserve one. He did not deserve a life that held joy.

His waitress came by and placed a glass of soda water with a slice of lime down in front of him. “I didn’t order another one,” Oliver said as the waitress slid a cream colored business card towards him.

“The lady at the back table sent it over with her compliments.” Three heads at his table turned to search the back of the bar. Oliver looked directly at the table where She sat.

“Ollie, I swear I can’t take you anywhere.” Thea half joked with a confused Oliver.

"Which one is she?" Sara whispered trying to be covert while bobbing her head up and down looking around.

“My, my, my Oliver, care to share what your new lady friend wrote?” A smirking Tommy said as he sat up, wagging his eyebrows up and down, moving closer to look at the card.

Oliver covered it with his hand as he watched his mystery blonde get up from her chair, give him a small wave, then turn and walk out of the bar. She wasn't smiling anymore. He had done that to her and it made him feel even more of a cad.

As she disappeared through the door, Oliver picked up the card, glanced at it then turned it over and read her handwritten note. _If I can ever be of help, please call._

“Oliver!" rang out in unison as three pairs of curious eyes stared at him for answers.

“Just a phone number.” Oliver said, as the subject of how forward people could be in bars started up. Oliver tapped the corner of the card on the table. He batted down the feeling of loss at her exit as he pulled out his wallet and slipped the card in. He wasn't going to go after her. Leaving whatever this was alone, was for the best.

Tommy gave him a wink before regaling the ladies of bygone days when he used to get phone numbers slipped into his pockets.

An hour or two later Oliver Queen, heir to the multi-faceted company Queen Consolidated, walked his sister three blocks from the bar to his downtown apartment. She had been too tired to make the hour long drive home to their family estate.

Oliver made sure Thea was settled in his guest room, asleep, before changing into his work out pants and made his way to the spare room where he kept his exercise machines. After an hour of running on the treadmill he took a shower letting the hot water and exertion, hurl him towards sleep.

Sometime later shadows from the full moon spread across his bed touching his tangled, restless legs as he fought demons in his sleep…

~~~~~~~~~~~

_“Dad, I think we need to try a …” Oliver said right before their car was hit and flipped onto its side on the quiet mountain road. He and his father were being chauffeured back to their city hotel after visiting a solar panel farm in the remote hills of the small country of Verdan. Their security team followed close behind in a black SUV._

_Screams and gunfire rang out as their car windows exploded. There was chaos as a mob of people surrounded their vehicle. Dazed and stunned, Oliver saw his father crumpled unconscious on the floor. Blood was everywhere and their driver’s head lay at a horribly unnatural angle. Oliver reached for his father as hands grabbed onto his legs. They dragged him through the shattered remains of his beaten car and onto the dirt road._

_Before a hood was thrown over Oliver’s head he caught a glimpse of John Diggle, the head of his father’s security detail and three others of their team, pinned down in their SUV. They shot back at the attackers through a haze of gun powder. Oliver struggled as his arms were wrenched painfully behind his back and zip ties were strapped on. They cut into his skin and his ankles. Rapid blows came from thick boots that stomped and kicked at him to stop his struggles. He couldn’t stop screaming for his father and the group of men he had known most of his adult life._

~~~~~~~~~

“Ollie!” echoed through the fog of his nightmare as he woke to find Thea screaming as she lay beneath him on the bed. “Ollie, please stop.” She gasped as he released his hold on her arms. He jumped off her to cower in the corner of his room.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” He cried as he slid down the wall to sit on the floor burying his head in his hands.

“Shh, Ollie, it’s just me.” She whispered as she rubbed her tender wrists. Thea carefully sat down next to him as he struggled with where he was and what just happened.

“Did I hurt you?” His guilt spilling out with his words.

“No, you scared me more than anything. Ollie, you’re still having those nightmares?”

“Yeah.”

“I should have known not to touch you. I’m sorry. I heard you screaming and before I thought about it, I tried to wake you.”

“It’s okay, Speedy. I’m okay,” Oliver said as he lifted his head and rested it against the wall.

“No, you aren’t okay Ollie. It’s been over two years. You need to get help, please.”

Thea fell asleep on his lap as they sat on the floor. Oliver gently lifted her to the bed and tucked his little sister in as he glanced at his wallet that lay on the bedside table. He sat down on the edge of the mattress and stared at his billfold.

“Okay, Speedy, I’ll try.” He said as he pulled out the thick, embossed business card from his wallet. His fingers flipped the card over to re-read what had surprised him earlier that evening, “Felicity Smoak, MD, Psychiatrist.”


	3. Chapter 3

Dr. Felicity Smoak’s fingers paused above her laptop as her thoughts once again returned to the events of the previous evening. She gently scolded herself as she felt her mind drifting back to a memory filled with red and green. She needed to concentrate on her patients, not a mystery man from a bar. The chances he would call her, a complete stranger, was ridiculous. She blushed with embarrassment at her forwardness last night. Who sent notes across a room to a person they didn’t even know? Apparently, an Empath, taken by a handsome, brooding and wounded man does. What must he think of her?

Felicity eagerly waited for her last patient of the day. Not because he was known to be handsome and rich, but because the gorgeous weather called to her. Her office was filled with sunshine and warmth. She loved the outdoors and being active. It was a great release when she found herself tied up in knots like she was today.

She deliberately chose not to look up her patients on the internet. Felicity preferred to make her own impressions and read through their medical records. Since Mr. Queen made his appointment just that morning, he had not arranged to have them sent to her yet.

Her receptionist, Emma, had raved about her new patient being the “prince of the city” or some such nonsense. Felicity only half listened to her whenever she started on one of her gossip sessions. For being such an excitable woman, Emma was one of the most efficient office managers Felicity had ever met. And being around and working in the medical field the last 10 years gave Felicity the insight to know to look for the best one she could find.

Felicity had decided to move to Starling City six months ago and set up her own practice. She loved the easy commute to Starling's fastest growing metropolitan area. It had a wonderful metro system of easy access bus and subway service. One of the best in her opinion, coming from one of the least easy access cities like Houston, Texas. She missed Houston, where she had gone to school and worked her first residency position at the local Veteran’s Hospital, but not the lack of easy transportation. Houston afforded her a wonderful and safe college experience, but Starling City had called to her and she never ignored signs in her life.

She resumed typing up her handwritten session notes when a tingle of awareness ran down her back. A fleeting moment of tension and excitement reverberated through her, right before Emma came on the speaker phone to let her know Mr. Queen had arrived.

The feeling disappeared as quickly as it had come. She knew she hadn’t been feeling those emotions, but... someone had. Was she losing control over the tight reins she held on her gift? Was her gift evolving?

“Dr. Smoak?” Emma said over the speaker again.

“Yes, coming Emma,” Felicity said as she pushed her concerns to the wayside so she could focus on meeting her new patient. She got up, smoothed down her black pencil skirt and tidied her bright pink shirt, then opened the door.

She walked into the waiting room and stopped in her tracks. It was the man from last night. To say she was blindsided once again by him was an understatement.

He was magnificent in the light of day. His late afternoon scruff made him look even more dark and mysterious. He was tall and well built. His tailored charcoal grey suit emphasized the masculinity of his powerful body.

Felicity was now the one feeling tense and excited. Was it a coincidence? Was what she felt moments ago, him? If it was, why? Why did he walk through her protective walls like they didn't exist? Okay, Felicity, just breathe she told herself.

Oliver was pretty good at reading people and the fleeting look of surprise that Dr. Smoak quickly masked over with one of polite society, told him she had not known who Oliver Queen was. How...interesting, Oliver thought as he processed that information. He stepped forward saving them both from the quiet awkwardness by offering her his hand. “Hello, Dr. Smoak. I’m Oliver Queen.”

Electricity surged through his body at their first contact. A live current that traveled up and down his body and everywhere their skin touched. He was pleased to see she was just as affected. He watched her pupils dilate at the stimulation. Her hands were soft, but her handshake was firm.  He couldn't help but notice that she didn't wear a wedding ring.

He towered over her as he took in all the finer details that he wasn’t able to last night. Her eyes were blue, fringed by long, thick lashes and sharp with intelligence. Her lips lush with the shimmer of her bright pink lipstick. Golden highlights gleamed off her blonde hair as she returned his scrutiny.

A small cough from her receptionist broke the spell. “Um, Mr. Queen, it’s so nice to meet you. Please, come in.” Felicity said as she let go of his hand and directed him into her office.

Emma silently mouthed the word “Wow,” as she caught Felicity’s eye before the door closed.

Felicity watched as the enigma named Oliver Queen slowly walked around her office. So, her mystery man was the "prince of the city." She did have to agree with Emma, he was handsome. He took his time looking at some of Felicity's framed diplomas, books, knick knacks from family trips and photos that were placed all along the dark, rosewood shelves.

He paused to look out her windows at the city view; then ran his hand along the back of one of her soft leather chairs before turning his attention solely on her. She had to admit the impact was just as intense as it was the first time around.

Wow, indeed, but right now she was also feeling disappointment and...fascination too. She still couldn’t feel or see any of his emotions. He hid from her as stealthily as he hid from everyone else. She missed his warm red and delicious masculine green. Now, he was just a normal, jaw-dropping specimen of manhood. She smiled at her own joke.

Oliver watched as her study of him generated a smile. My god, the woman was beautiful when she smiled. He got a personal thrill at the fact he seemed to be the cause of two of those from her. It also reminded him why he was there.

He was driven by the need to find out who she was and how had she known he would need “help” before he even had? Last night’s meeting, if you could call it that, was too much of a coincidence. It was odd and he wanted an explanation.

“Dr. Smoak, I would like to know what you want?”

“What?”

“You just happened to catch my attention and conveniently give me your phone number last night. You want me to believe that you just walked into a bar when I just happen to be there. When I happen to ... ‘need help.’ I’m a very well known person in this town. What’s your angle?”

“Are you accusing me of something Mr. Queen?” Her offense to his accusations was raw and palpable. She was furious and she...confused him.

Oliver didn’t know what to think. He was so tired from the nightly nightmares of the last few days and honestly, he just didn’t want to admit to himself that he just felt compelled to see her again. Oddness and weird coincidence be damned. He really did need help if he started bothering strangers at their workplace.

“I...don’t know why I’m here, Dr. Smoak.” He said in apology as he stood in front of her, shoulders slumped in exhaustion. Felicity didn’t need to be an Empath to see the world weighed heavily on them.

“Please, sit. Let’s just talk, okay.” Felicity quietly offered as she moved to sit down in one of the chairs and pointed to the one across from her. After a moment of hesitation, Oliver sat down.

“I’m sorry. I’m not normally so rude.”

Felicity took this time to really look at Oliver Queen. His exhaustion, dark circles under his eyes and an anxiousness that reached out to her didn’t take away from his attractiveness, but it did pull at Felicity’s heart strings. He had taken the first step by coming to see her. Whether he knew why he did or not, it was still a step towards help. A step towards her help. She would respect the forces of Fate and take a step of her own. More like a momentous leap, but she was never one to be afraid.

“Mr. Queen, I can explain to you about last night, but I’m not sure you would believe me.”

“Try me.”

“Alright...I’m an Empath, Mr. Queen. Not just empathetic, but an Empath. I am a certified Psychiatrist, but I also utilize my empathic abilities in my counseling sessions. Let me finish before you say anything, okay?” She said as she noticed his brow crinkle.

“I have the ability to feel and see other people’s emotions. Sometimes it’s what they are going through and sometimes it’s a warning of what’s to come. I use my gift in the hope that I can help. If you wish, you can call it strong intuition if that helps you understand it. When I was in the bar last night I felt your unease and your emotional pain and I offered to help. As simple as that. No subterfuge. No angle... and my offer to help still stands.”

Felicity was used to skepticism, strange looks and uncomfortableness from people when she mentioned her gift. She hoped that Oliver Queen would be different. There was something about him. Something that touched her and her gift and she knew deep in her gut that she was meant to help him. She just hoped he would let her.

“You felt my pain, Dr. Smoak.” He whispered before he turned his face to look out the windows. Felicity took a deep breath not realizing she had been holding it in as she waited for his response.

She said she felt his pain. If she felt even a small amount of the pain and guilt he carried, he pitied her. It was his penance to carry the demons, no one else's. He would have to try harder at hiding it from the world. She probably picked up on some expression or body language he gave off last night. It had been a tough week for him and his exhaustion weakened his normal diligence. He controlled everything he did. Total control was his safety net.

Oliver thought he had heard of almost everything in his thirty year old life. He wasn’t sheltered. He grew up well educated and traveled the world. Empath. He believed that she believed she was an Empath. He didn’t “believe” or “not believe” in such things and he wasn’t one to judge anyone.

He pressed his fingers against his dry and burning eyes as he came to a decision. If there was one thing he did know without a doubt was Dr. Smoak had the credentials to provide therapy according to her framed diplomas and his internet research last night. He had tried conventional therapy two years ago and it helped to some extent. He was able to function and live his life to the extent that he could hold down his job at QC, talk to his family and society “like” a normal man would, but he hadn’t lived his life the way he wanted to. He didn’t want to hurt his family any longer. He wanted to wake up happy and guilt free. He wanted to laugh and love and forgive himself. He wanted that enough to try therapy with a beautiful, albeit unconventional doctor.

“I wish I had known you two years ago. Maybe what happened wouldn’t have occurred if you’d "felt" the warning...bad joke?” He asked as she remained quiet at his words.

“Is that your way of saying you’ll try therapy with me?”

“Yes, I guess it is.” He said with a sad, tired smile.


	4. Chapter 4

Two days later, Felicity arrived home to find a box waiting on her doorstep. She smiled as she recognized the handwriting and carried it into her kitchen. She was excited as she peeled off the brown wrapper and opened the care package from her grandmother. Grandmama always knew when she needed a gift of encouragement or just a hug. In the box lay brownies. Not just any brownies, but “magical” ones, at least they had been to a sad little girl. When people around her had made her feel weird and ostracized for her gift, grandmama would whip up those delicious treats and Felicity would feel better and the world wasn’t such a mean and harsh place anymore. Brownies were hugs and love.

Felicity had thought about calling her Grandmother the night she first met Oliver Queen, but she had never heard of anyone in her family ever encountering anyone who could infiltrate their psychic walls. Oliver was an anomaly.

Felicity called her Grandmother to say thank you and tell her about her week, but...again she felt compelled to keep Oliver and his effect on her, private. She couldn’t explain it, but it was an odd protective feeling which made no sense. It's not like her Grandmother would force her to stop seeing him or ridicule Oliver for seeking treatment. It was just...he was a mystery Felicity wanted to solve. He was her mystery. He didn't scare her or make her feel uncomfortable. What he made her feel was the...exact opposite. She didn't want to overanalyze why, but if she were to guess, she'd say she was developing a soft spot for him.

After saying goodnight, Felicity settled down to read through Oliver's medical records. She knew he was skeptical of her Empathic abilities, but he was willing to try therapy again and with her. She had been surprised and pleased at his decision. His acceptance, on whatever level, of her gift and its use in therapy, said a lot about the person he was.

She sat in her living room with a glass of wine in hand as she opened her iPad and the electronic files compiled by his former doctors. Words like PTSD, bilateral injuries, ruptured eardrum, facial fractures, anxiety and chronic fatigue floated around her mind as she took in the extent of his trauma. After reading through his records twice, she sat back to sip at the last of her wine amazed at the man she knew today.

Oliver had never once talked to his doctors about what he had experienced. Never. He had lived two years holding the details within himself.

The extent of his physical injuries screamed abuse and terror. The horrors he must carry, made Felicity even more determined to help him.

For him to get up every day and project to the world that everything was okay, that he was okay, reflected an incredible level of internal fortitude. A degree of strength and control that was communicated through his ability to build walls. Walls that kept his pain hidden and everyone out. She now understood how he could cut their connection so completely and so succinctly. He was made of iron and steel, forged from fire. A fire not of his choosing, but one he would survive if she had anything to do with it.

The necessities that drove Oliver to build his walls was very much like her own. Felicity had needed to protect herself from the onslaught of emotions all around her. Oliver felt he had to protect himself too and maybe not just from those around him, but from himself. But his walls sealed in pain that needed to be released. Otherwise, he would destroy himself.

~~~~~~~

Oliver worked out, dressed and had some breakfast before he had to admit he could no longer hold off going to his appointment with Dr. Smoak. He had spent the entire weekend struggling with the compulsion to keep the status quo. That’s how it went, back and forth all weekend. He was still dealing with his indecision that morning. He had two years of learning “tricks” to deal with his issues. He knew how to manage his pain. Emotional avoidance and physical exercise. Every day for two years, avoidance and exercise. It had become a way of life till he was forced to acknowledge he was hurting himself and the people who cared for him. When was the last time he took the initiative and hugged one of them or made them laugh with one of his lame old jokes? He knew he could never be the man he was three years ago, but he missed that person.

He had a support system in his family and friends that he would always be thankful for. He wanted to be able to show them how grateful he was, but he was just so afraid to go back into the darkness. Devoid of light and thick as quicksand, he had fought against it two years ago and it had won. Did he have the strength to win this time?

Maybe this time Dr. Smoak would make the difference. His lips curved into a small smile as he thought about their meeting. She had made him forget about everything that hurt. He better get going if he wanted to be on time.

“Okay, you can do this.” He said to himself as he left his apartment.

~~~~~~~

They sat in silence for a good 15 minutes. Felicity allowed her gift to reach out as she usually did during sessions. She could see no aura nor feel any of what Oliver was internalizing. His walls were intact.

Oliver sat reflecting on the comfortable quiet in the room. He seldom sat still for any reason. To stop, was to give his demons time to be mischievous. Right now, in this small corner of his life, with this woman who made his heart beat a little faster with her hair pulled back in a ponytail and glasses on her nose, he felt...safe.

Could he control his demons? He needed to try. With her beside him, he could try and face down a memory today.

“Mr. Queen?”

“Yes, Dr. Smoak,”

“Please, call me Felicity. What would you like to talk about today?”

“Alright, Felicity.” He said it like he was savoring each syllable, his voice breathy and deep. Hearing her name on his lips for the first time sent a shiver of awareness across Felicity's skin.

“My name is Oliver.”

“Oliver. Would you like to start at the beginning?”

The beginning, when did it really start he mused. It certainly never ended... alright Oliver, you’re here for a reason, be brave he told himself. Felicity will be with you. Fe-li-ci-ty. He liked her name.

He wouldn’t be alone as he walked back into the madness. He focused entirely on her, the bright colors that she wore, the silky blonde of her hair and especially the vibrant blue of her eyes. Yes, the vibrant blue of her eyes.

“I’m not a fan of rain.” He said as he breathed through the first wave of agony the subject produced.

“Rain?” Felicity asked softly as she begun to see the smallest pulse of turbulent purple appear around him. She froze, not wanting to distract him as he finally let go. Dark, thick pain seared through her as she sat as still as she could. She held onto her chair trying to stay grounded.

“Yes, rain…" He repeated as he looked at her, never breaking eye contact, holding onto their connection. Holding on as tightly as possible as he started to speak...

_**The feeling of rain hitting the ground, splattering across his face and soaking the front of his clothes, woke Oliver to the sound of people nearby. He tried to move only to find he was gagged and hogtied, sharp needles of pain radiated through his body as he tried to look around. He had to rest his cheek on the wet floor of what looked to be a makeshift cage as his neck grew tired after a few attempts to turn himself on his side.** _

_**Dad, Diggle and the others.…he didn't see them anywhere. He tried to take an accounting of his injuries. As far as he could tell he was badly bruised from the car overturning and the attack.** _

_**Black combat boots walked into view and stopped by his face. All Oliver could see was the bottom of camouflage pants tucked into the dirt encrusted boots. The owner crouched down to look Oliver in the eye. A weathered face of a hardened man, a rifle slung over his back, looked Oliver over. He looked his fill of Oliver’s bloodied shirt, torn pants and bare feet, undisguised disgust showing. “You mean nothing to me, Queen. You‘re here to make me some money. A means to an end. It’s too bad about your father. I wanted both of you, but he’s dead.”** _

_**No, no, Oliver must have misheard. His father couldn’t be dead.** _

_**Nooooo, Oliver howled internally. His disbelief and pain seeping into full fledged screams.** _

_**“Noouhhhh,” Oliver screamed through the dirty cloth tied around his mouth as he struggled against his bindings to get at the man. “Noouhhh.”** _

_**“Shut the fuck up!” The man roared as he stood and pulled his rifle off his shoulder and pointed the barrel through the bars directly at Oliver’s face. The tears streaming down Oliver’s cheeks made the man go in and out of focus. “I told you to shut up!” He yelled before the rifle barrel hit Oliver on the head causing him to blackout.** _


	5. Chapter 5

Moira Queen sat on her terrace, at the Queen estate, enjoying her morning coffee and the fragrance of honeysuckle blooming in the garden. She moved her stylus pen around her day planner scrolling through her appointments. It looked to be another busy week, but dinner with her son Oliver made it one she looked forward to. They saw each other at the office almost every day, but dinner was a time they could be just mother and son.

Oliver.

He was her oldest child. Thirty years old and in many ways the most like her. He was quiet, reserved and metered in his decision making. There wasn't anything wrong with that, Moira mused, that's the way she was. It's just, that wasn't who Oliver used to be.

She was proud of all his accomplishments both in his personal life and at Queen Consolidated. Oliver had graduated from his father's alma mater with an MBA. Upon graduation he had taken over the Innovation and Development Department at Queen Consolidated.

He was once vivacious and daring. The life of the party with a quick smile and joke for every occasion, but now...he was an observer of life. Perhaps he would have grown into the measured man he was today without the events of two years ago, but then again...they would never know.

She knew Oliver loved her. He had told her several times over the past two years that there was nothing to forgive, but to this day, Moira could still not forgive herself…

~~~~~~~~

_**Moira rushed into the Verdan hospital corridor frantically asking for information on her husband, Robert Queen. She had received the earth shattering phone call from John Diggle, head of her security team, upon her return to their local hotel room. He only had time to inform her of the kidnapping of her son, Oliver; the life threatening injuries of her husband and the deaths of two of the Queen Consolidated security team before local authorities had taken him in to give his statement.** _

_**As she ran through the halls, her brain screamed, “Robert, oh my god. Robert. Please, be okay, please. Oliver...my Oliver.”** _

_**She rounded the corner of the intensive care unit where she was met by John Diggle. He was covered in cuts, dried blood and ash from the attack.** _

_**"Oh, John. Thank goodness you're okay. Robert? Oliver? The team?"** _

_**“We lost Michael and Peter. Mr. Queen is in surgery listed under critical condition. He sustained substantial internal injuries during the assault. This is the best trauma hospital in the city Mrs. Queen, they'll do their best." He explained as he took hold of her cold, shaking hands.** _

_**“Oliver?” She asked as they held onto each other. "What happened? Who took him?"** _

_**"Local rebels as far as we could tell. Kidnap for ransom is my guess. They must have been watching us at the hotel since we arrived. I’m so sorry about Oliver. We couldn't get to the main car in time. I couldn’t..."** _

_**“Stop, John. No recriminations. There’s no time for that now. Just...give me a second..." Moira said, taking into account everything she'd just been told and thinking through the information on Verdan they had been given before the business trip. A third world country with a newly elected young government preaching reform and change.** _

_**She steeled herself for what would need to be done to get her son home.** _

_**"First, I need you to have your injuries checked out, no, no arguing. I need you to be in the best shape as possible and then... then I’m going to need you to take care of our men. Their poor families.” The hard-nosed chairwoman of Queen Consolidated; the wife of a man fighting for his life and the mother of a man taken by god knows who, took over.** _

_**~~~~~~~~** _

_**Seven days at the hotel came and went without a single word from the kidnappers. Seven long days of not knowing if Oliver was alive or dead. Seven long days of nightmares while awake and asleep for Moira. The QC Board of Directors had been contacted back in Starling City, the US State Department and with cooperation of the local authorities, were waiting for the demands. Moira was prepared to pay any amount, but both the State Department and the local authorities recommended against that. You had to negotiate the amount with these animals she was told. Let them know that you couldn’t be pushed around.** _

_**She just wanted Oliver back. She had to trust that these people knew what they were doing.** _

_**With Robert thankfully surviving his surgery, but still not conscious, the kidnappers finally made contact.** _

_**A demand for 5 million dollars was countered with $500,000. The phone call went dead and with that disconnection went Moira’s hope. They hadn’t said anything in response. There was no agreement. What if they did not call back? What if they killed Oliver?** _

_**Within the hour, the first pictures arrived from a blocked number through Moira’s mobile phone. Oliver severely beaten. His nose broken, both eyes swollen, a cut lip and bruises and blood everywhere.** _

_**“Oliver,” She choked out as image after brutal image came through. Her horror and gut wrenching pain quickly turned into anger. White hot anger surged through her veins towards the people who hurt him and to the men in the room with her.** _

_**"I don’t give a damn what positions you all hold, but you did this...look at what they did to him...YOU, will now be listening to Me. I don’t care what the ransom amount will be. I will PAY it this time. Am I understood?" Arguments were made back and forth, but Moira held firm.** _

_**Three agonizing days passed before contact was made again. The original demand for 5 million was now a demand for 10 million. The kidnappers were flexing their muscles. Moira demanded “Proof of Life” and one more picture was sent of Oliver looking haggard, dried blood across his forehead, skinnier, bruises all along his jawline, holding up that day’s newspaper. His eyes looked so haunted. What were they doing to him Moira thought?** _

_**The ransom was agreed to and the drop was made.** _

_**No Oliver. There was no Oliver.** _

_**Moira would never, ever forget that day.** _

_**~~~~~~** _

_**"Mrs. Queen?" came the gentle voice of John Diggle into the dark hospital room where Moira sat holding her husband's hand. "They've arrived."** _

_**"Robert. I think I've lost our son. Our beautiful baby boy." Moira whispered. Robert hadn't woken up after his surgery. She thought of his sleeping form as a cocoon that he was in. It allowed him to get stronger and stronger till he made his way back to her. That belief helped her go on.** _

_**"Forgive me. I have to try everything." She said before she kissed him, then turned and walked out with John Diggle.** _


	6. Chapter 6

Oliver sat, flipping through a magazine, in the waiting room at Felicity’s office. He had something important to discuss with her and he wasn't sure how to handle it.

Pages of pretty images of architectural styles helped him pass the few minutes while waiting for her. An oceanfront home with parents, two kids and a dog smiled up at him from the glossy pages. He stared for a moment then closed the magazine.

“Oliver,” Felicity greeted him. Today she wore a soft lemon yellow that...calmed him. He hadn’t realized how tense he was. He settled into one of her large leather chairs. It afforded a man of his size enough room to settle in and relax. In fact, Felicity’s office had felt comfortable to him from the start. She made him feel comfortable. Like a safe haven. One that he was afraid he might lose today.

She had stayed with him long after his first session had ended. The shadows of the sunset had crept its way across her office. He hadn’t talked about the rain or any of his experiences before that day. After sharing the memory of that horrible moment when he was told his father was dead, it took Oliver longer than normal to gather his wits and rebuild his walls. And she just sat there with him. She didn’t probe further. She didn’t ask questions. She gave him the time to put himself back together and then quietly asked when he would like to see her again. He was grateful to her for allowing him to take the lead in his therapy.

Something else lingered with him from that session too and he needed to talk with her about it. He swore he had seen something in her eyes. Then again perhaps he was seeing things. Either way he didn't want to hurt her. She had mentioned her empathic abilities and his thoughts had drifted there.

"Felicity, did I...say or do something that hurt you in any way in our first session?" He asked her. "I thought I saw something in your eyes."

He could see his question had taken her by surprise. He hadn't meant to just blurt it out, but the idea that he had hurt her in anyway upset him.

"Oliver, I apologize." She replied as she held up her hand to stop him when he started to respond.

"This is the reason I don't normally tell my patients about my gift Oliver. I don't ever want to take away from your therapy. You are the priority. It’s just well, we met under unusual circumstances and I decided to be honest with you. Yes,…I felt what you were feeling and no, you didn't hurt me because its part of my job Oliver. I'm here to help you, whether through my gift or your own words. No matter how you share your burdens, as your doctor I will always feel something."

"Felicity, I don't ..." Oliver said before Felicity cut him off.

"The day a doctor can no longer feel something for their patients is the day that doctor should stop practicing."

Oliver tried to process what she just told him. Gift or no gift, Felicity was a deeply caring person. With just the few times they had talked he had become protective of her. Their connection was uniquely special and was something he valued. Because of that, he hesitated.

"Oliver," Felicity said as she held his gaze and watched him struggle with what she told him. "Trust me on this, please."

The only thing that could be heard in the room was the second hand of the clock on the wall. It felt like an eternity for Felicity.

"It's strange how we are shown compassion and kindness in our lives when we need it the most." Oliver finally said with a small smile that Felicity returned.

"Do you mind if I ask you if you have any children? Are you in a relationship?" Oliver asked, the picture from the waiting room magazine echoing through his mind.

"No, I don't have any and no, I'm not seeing anyone,” Felicity responded after a moment's hesitation. She normally didn't go into such personal details with patients, but Oliver’s aura was pulsing. His question wasn't made just out of curiosity. “I would like children someday though."

"I had never really thought about kids. I guess I figured it was something to think about in the future." Oliver said, his hand absently rubbing against the leather of his chair.

"The first few days of my captivity were tough. I wasn't given any food or drink for several days. I didn’t know what to expect and I was... scared. Then one morning I met someone...someone I have never forgotten."

 _**Oliver could no longer feel his arms or his legs. They were still bound tightly behind his back. His clothing was soiled and he lay in his own waste. He tried to keep count of the number of sunrises he saw. It had been three. He hadn't eaten or been given liquid for three days.** _  
_**He was so thirsty and hunger cramps had started. The man who told him about his father seemed to take pleasure in tormenting Oliver. His favorite time to “visit” Oliver was at night. Usually with a bright flashlight and a stick or his rifle. Foul language and physical jabs at his body made sure Oliver didn’t get much sleep. The man got off on terrorizing and exercising his power over Oliver.** _

_**He struggled with thoughts of how his family was dealing with everything. Did they know he was still alive? Were they looking for him? He prayed that his mother was able to find his father's body. Had the kidnappers left his father's body to be found? Had Diggle and the other men survived?** _

_**It was all his fault. He killed his father. He had brought his parents to this small country with hopes of bringing the promise of trade and income to a fledgeling new economy. He had been so excited at the prospect of Queen Consolidated being in a partnership with a new democratic government whose priority were their own people. That QC could do good in the world was inspiring. He had been so wrong. His family and entourage had done their due diligence. Security and safety was first and foremost in their minds. They just hadn’t been prepared enough.** _

_**Oliver watched wearily as one of the guards walked towards his cage with a small boy who looked maybe 8 or 9 years old, whose clothing was in no better condition than Oliver's. It hung off the child’s thin body and was encrusted with dirt. The child struggled with a satchel on his shoulder. The guard had no patience and pushed the kid as he stopped to rest with his heavy load. Derogatory remarks and threats of putting the orphan boy back on the streets could be heard. Oliver grew angry at the treatment of the child. Who were these people who had no respect for life, even for a child’s?** _

_**As they reached Oliver's cage, the little boy looked at Oliver with fear in his eyes. Again the guard shoved the boy forward pointing at Oliver. The boy looked over Oliver's arms and legs that were bound then moved slowly towards his cage and put the nozzle of what turned out to be a water bag through the bars.** _

_**Oliver was so grateful for the water. He scooted as close to the nozzle as his bound body would allow. He drank too fast and begun to cough and spill the liquid. This seemed to anger the guard and the boy and the water were shoved away.** _

_**"Please, more..," Oliver pleaded as the guard turned and forced the boy to follow him. As he was dragged off, the little boy looked back at Oliver with the saddest eyes he had ever seen. What life produced such sadness in a child so young?** _

_**For two days the guard forced the child to bring water to Oliver. Never enough to quench his thirst only enough to make his body painfully crave more.** _

_**Then one day the boy appeared alone with bruises on his face. He walked with a limp Oliver assumed was from a beating. Oliver was so overcome with rage at what he saw. He tried to breathe deeply and control what he was feeling. He didn’t want to scare the boy. He approached Oliver as normal and tipped the water nozzle. Oliver drank what he was offered and gently said, "Thank you."** _

_**The boy looked up at the soft tone of Oliver's words and just...stared. Had the boy never been talked to with care and affection? He turned and favoring his left leg, walked away.** _

_**Oliver had for a brief moment considered asking the child to help him, but not after seeing what harm the guards were capable of. “Thank you...Tiny. Yes, that's what I'm going to call you. Tiny.” Oliver said to himself.** _

_**On the sixth or was it the seventh sunrise, he was having trouble keeping track now, Oliver was brought food. He was so weak by that point that the guards had to force the food and water down him. He had a hard time keeping it all in.** _

_**Oliver suspected something must be happening if they were feeding him. He was almost too afraid to hope.** _

_**Later that day he saw the leaves move in the dense jungle foliage near his cage and watched as Tiny peered out from the leaves and looked at him with a grim expression. The boy slowly shook his head back and forth as the man who told Oliver about his father and terrorized him stalked towards the cage. Oliver quickly glanced back to the tree line to see Tiny gone.** _

_**He got Tiny's warning. Something bad was going to happen. As the man dragged him out of the cage, angry words spilled from his mouth and he pulled him over the dirty courtyard toward one of the buildings, Oliver kept the images of his family in his mind. They were beautiful and laughing. He would always hold those images dear.** _

_**He ached all over. They had hosed him down with hard water, used the butts of their guns and their closed fists and heavy boots to wreak damage on his body. Maybe they were trying to kill his spirit if they could not kill his body. After Oliver had fainted from the trauma and the pain, he was slapped back to wakefulness to see flashing lights going off. Pictures were being taken and Oliver was forced to give his captors his mother's mobile phone number. The fact that they were asking for it, gave Oliver the will to continue fighting. To live for another sunrise.** _

_**But then nothing happened. He was left alone, bleeding and broken, in the filthy cage. Oliver wondered when they would kill him. Would they keep him alive only long enough to extort money? At least he was no longer hogtied. He had to laugh at that small blessing. Hysterical mad laughing for the being bound with rope, but not hogtied. He was going mad.** _

_**That night, under the cloak of darkness, Tiny came to him. Oliver felt the tentative touch of small hands on his face. Oliver couldn't see through his swollen eyes, but he knew who it was.** _

_**The boy placed a small piece of bread into Oliver's bleeding mouth and helped him suck on it till it dissolved. Wet fingers brought water to his parched throat.** _

_**Oliver began to cry at the kindness shown by a child who was never shown any. A small hand held his as quiet sobs escaped Oliver's shattered body.** _

~~~~~

"Oliver," Felicity whispered as she touched his hand trying to bring him back from the memory. His aura was pulsing in a chaotic storm of blue and purple and he hadn’t heard her the first time she called his name.

Oliver opened his eyes to see her hand on his. He pulled his hand away and shook his head back and forth, "Please, don't."

The feelings of anguish she shared with him was even more heartbreaking when compounded with his withdrawal.

“Okay,” Felicity said as she eased away to sit back in her chair.

Oliver blinked the moisture from his eyes as he watched Felicity hand a box of tissues to him. He took some and wiped his tears away. He had been the cause of so much pain. His family, the families of his security team and even Tiny suffered because of him. A small enslaved child forced to take care of him. He wished he could wipe it all away as easily as he wiped his tears away with a tissue.

~~~~~~~

That night Oliver sat in the darkness of his bedroom looking out through his balcony doors. The clear night sky was a blanket of stars just like it was deep in the jungle. He knew he had to talk about the worse of his ordeal in order to get better, but it just hurt too much. The memories hurt too much. He was so tired. So very tired.

-~~~~~~~

 

Felicity's running shoes pounded against the pavement as she jogged. She didn't feel the hardness of the concrete as her thoughts centered on Oliver.

Her gift provided momentary insight into people's lives. It was as fleeting as the time she spent with them. She knew from her sessions with Oliver that his burden was incredibly heavy. His pain weighed her down when he allowed it to ebb and flow, but every time she shared it, it was like oxygen feeding the flames of her determination to help him. It wasn’t a burden, it was a gift.

Oliver was making headway. It was rough and painful, but he was doing it. The guilt he still carried for his perceived "placing of his family and friends in harm's way" was something he had to learn to forgive. He needed to forgive himself.


	7. Chapter 7

The soft murmurs of conversation and the clinking of glassware floated around the restaurant. Oliver walked in looking across the length of the room for the two people who meant the world to him. His mother and his ... father. He was so grateful to be able to say that, Father. He took a deep breath as he walked towards them and prepared himself for their inevitable questions. His mother was always hoping to hear that he was dating or had met someone special. His feet faltered as an image of eyeglasses and a blonde ponytail flashed through his mind. You best not go there, Oliver reminded himself, she's your doctor.

His parents sat in a cozy corner of the restaurant, heads close together, relaxed in their love for one another. Oliver had always admired his parents relationship. The trust and friendship they shared. He wanted that someday. He slowed down as he realized he was actually thinking of a future. Maybe there was hope for him.

As he got closer to their table he caught the eye of his father's bodyguard, John Diggle, who stood inconspicuously off to the back of the dining room. Dig, as Oliver had called him from his first day at work with the Queen family, would always be family to Oliver. His primary job was watching his parents, but the entire Queen family was kept under his umbrella of care and protection. Dig's quiet nature allowed him to blend in even with his tall, strong stature. He was an imposing figure, yet Oliver knew he could be gentle enough to sit with the youngest Queen, his sister Thea, when she woke, scared from a nightmare.

Oliver nodded back as Dig acknowledged his presence.

"Oliver," Robert Queen said as he stood up, extending one arm to clasp Oliver's hand in a firm handshake while grasping Oliver's other shoulder.

"Dad," Oliver said as he met his father's eyes that twinkled with good humor. His Dad was alive and healthy. If there was one thing Oliver was thankful for, after the incident two years ago, was his father's greater appreciation for life. He was always a good man, but after surviving the attempted abduction, Robert Queen loved his family with even more vigor than he ever had before.

"Mom," Oliver whispered with affection as he kissed his mother's cheek then sat down at their table.

As he made himself comfortable, their waiter came by and placed a glass of water by his plate and then offered Oliver some bread. Oliver's mouth went dry and his stomach twisted as he looked at the different types of bread in the basket.

"No, thank you." He was able to just barely say while trying to block his volatile memories. Bread and blood.

He twisted the napkin that lay in his lap as he began to systematically count down in his head 3-2-1. He steadily concentrated on forcing himself to breathe.

He was thankfully able to stave off a panic attack. He really wanted to enjoy his time with his parents, especially after his difficult session with Felicity the day before. He still felt bruised and not completely in control. His emotions were all over the place.

“You look tired darling. Are you getting enough rest?” Moira Queen delicately inquired trying to surmise Oliver’s health. She always walked a fine line between bulldozing her way into his life like any loving mother would with the mother who understood he was still finding his way.

“I’ve just been busy, Mom,” Oliver said as he sipped from his water glass hoping to stop the direction of her questions.

“You’ve been working very hard on preparing for the annual board meeting.” Robert Queen added with a quick wink at Oliver, trying to help him get off the hook and keep the conversation all business.

Robert Queen looked over his son and privately had to agree with his wife’s observation. Oliver looked tired. Tonight there was a vulnerability just around the edges of his soul that Oliver usually kept very sharp and very pointed. He kept them all at arms length just as a porcupine would in defense mode. He missed his open, easy going son, but he was so thankful to have the man Oliver had become, here.

It had been difficult for Robert to help Oliver after what happened in Verdan. Not only because he was recovering from his own trauma and surgery, but because Oliver wouldn’t allow it. He would NOT allow it. They had all tried desperately to reach him.

He had tried, but Oliver's recovery was completely and totally about healing all of "them." Oliver would not allow for anything else. His own broken pieces didn't matter. Everyone else's did. Oliver had been stronger than them all.

Robert knew that his son had never truly healed from his mental wounds, but he never once stumbled in his physical recovery. Oliver's body healed and with that, he single handedly put their family back together without allowing his own needs to be a burden.

Therein lay the problem. The family never looked at Oliver's needs as a burden, but Oliver did. He never shared with them about anything that happened during those 11 days. They could all see the pain he was in. They just weren't allowed to comfort him.

'I’m okay’ ended up being Oliver’s mantra. He was always, okay. Always, till one day, they all just accepted it.

He moved them forward at the expense of his own self being left behind. The Oliver pre-Verdan was never seen again. Everything he kept inside, that he never ever spoke of, grew and grew into the person sitting at their table. A man Robert completely respected and loved, but…he wished Oliver happiness. Peace and happiness. Did parents want anything more for their children?

~~~~~~

John Diggle dropped off Robert and Moira Queen at the front door of their estate after their weekly dinner with Oliver and then checked on the tracker that Oliver had agreed to have implanted in his watch.

Oliver had fought against Dig's suggestions of a full security team shadowing his every move after returning from Verdan. He didn't want to live as a prisoner again. He didn't want the kidnappers to still be "affecting his life," as Oliver had put it. Oliver's remark had always resonated with Diggle. Those men had affected Oliver in the most profound ways. He wouldn't allow what was left of his soul to be soiled too.

Thankfully, Oliver had at least agreed to some form of tracking device.

Dig breathed a little easier with that knowledge. Being a bodyguard had been an easy transition after two tours in the army. He had been with the Queens for just under 10 years. They had taken him into their fold when he had no family of his own. And they welcomed him after the debacle in Verdan. He vowed to himself that he wouldn’t let them down again. He was proud to work for them and to be part of their family. They were good people.

He knew from personal experience the lengths they would go to for their family.

_**“John, its good to see you. I’m sorry about the circumstances.” Lyla Michaels, former Special Forces operative turned private security contractor, shook his hand and looked to the quiet, stoic figure of Moira Queen. Her team of 5 men filled the hotel room with their gear and electronics. She had been called in to help with search and rescue from her old friend John Diggle. She knew Robert Queen still lay in the hospital unconscious and their son Oliver was her top priority.** _

_**“Me too, Lyla. Mrs. Queen this is Lyla Michaels and her team.”** _

_**“Ms. Michaels, John speaks highly of you and your team's abilities.” Moira said as they shook hands and she acknowledged the rest of the team.** _

_**"We're here to help, all that we can, Mrs. Queen." Lyla said trying to give as much assurances as she could without giving false hope. In her line of work, she never gave the families false hope. She had too much respect for their heartache to add to it.** _

_**“Here is the information we have so far.” Diggle started as pleasantries were finished. He filled them in on what had happened over the last ten days.** _

_**“Once first contact was made by the kidnappers, we used Queen Consolidated’s contacts and influence to have analysis and tracking of their mobile phone begin. The first call was too short to do a traditional track, but we were able to narrow down the cell phone tower that the phone signal bounced off. The three days that the kidnappers took to call back allowed us to utilize local intel to find out who lived in the region of the tower. Possible suspects that came to light were a known terrorist group made up of former local soldiers now turned “rebels," that don’t agree with the new government.**_

_**Mrs. Queen was able to keep the kidnappers on the phone longer the second time when she demanded "Proof of Life.” This narrowed the search area even more.** _

_**We had put a tracking device on the briefcase containing the ransom money, but expected it to be disposed off very quickly after the exchange was to happen. At which point the secondary tracking device we put on the money itself, would kick in and give us coordinates. Those coordinates were fed to the covert military satellite that Mrs. Queen had called in favors to use. We now have overhead shots and infrared heat signatures of the terrorist's compound. We’ve been observing their comings and goings. From what we can see it looks like there are guards that walk by a particular outdoor outcrop, where there’s a single heat source, on a set timeline. The person doesn’t move much and hasn’t left the spot in the last 12 hours. The compound is located 20 miles deep in the jungle. We’ll have to be dropped by helicopter a few miles away then hike in.”** _

_**After they had gone over the plan several times and arranged to have the helicopter fueled and ready, the group started to check over their armor, guns and ammo. John began to pack his bag as Moira came over and touched his arm. “John, what are you doing?”** _

_**“I’m going with them. I wasn’t able to get to Oliver the first time, but I can now.” He said as he looked into her eyes, silently demanding she give him this opportunity to bring her and his family home.** _

_**“Bring him home, John.”** _

_**~~~~~~~~** _

_**They hiked the five miles, towards the compound, relatively quickly under the overcast night sky. Thank goodness for small favors. The moon was hidden behind cloud cover and was expected to be most of the night.** _

_**As they neared the compound the three lookout points were dealt with with guns muzzled with silencers and manual hand to hand combat. All done at the same time. Diggle had to give Lyla credit. Her team was professional and extremely well trained.** _

_**From the overhead photos they knew the compound contained at least 15 people at any given time.** _

_**3 down, 12 to go.** _

_**They climbed and rappelled down the walls and with the help of night goggles scoped the pitch black courtyard.** _

_**As Lyla's team took out more sleeping, unprepared rebels Diggle and Lyla made their way to the back of the site.** _

_**Once they saw their target, they radioed the helicopter to begin flying towards the compound and then headed towards the outdoor cage.** _

_**All of a sudden, the entire area was lit by flood lights and all hell broke loose.** _


	8. Chapter 8

 

**Warning: M-rated Extreme Violence**

~~~~~~~

Oliver woke to rain clouds gathering in the horizon. His top floor apartment afforded him a view of the entire city and right now, it looked like the storm was going to swallow it whole. His knuckles cracked as his hands clenched and his nails dug into the skin of his palms. He would get through the day. One hour at a time is how he dealt with the hardest days like this.

A rainy day couldn't have happened at a worse time. He wasn’t in complete command of his emotions right now. There were cracks and fractures that he now carried from his therapy with Felicity. He was holding on to his control by his fingertips.

He made it to work at QC before the downpour started and tried his hardest not to take out his stress and turmoil on those around him. Unfortunately, he wasn't able to keep all of it in.

Projects that were behind and issues left on the back burner were identified and completion dates and corrections were "strongly recommended" during his morning meetings.

Once back in the privacy of his office, he walked into his private wash room to take a few moments to work through his anxiety. Memories fought their way to the forefront of his mind and he just couldn’t deal with them all. A kaleidoscope of pain pummeled at him like the raindrops against the windows.

Darkness crept around the edges of his vision, tunneling the pain directly to his heart. He knew that if he didn't get home now, he wouldn't be able to leave the room. He needed to get home.

"Ollie?" came a voice from his office. Relief flooded through him. It was Thea.

"Hey," He said as he walked unsteadily into his office to find her sitting in one of his chairs.

"Oliver, you look horrible." She replied as she stood up and walked towards him. Her hands reaching out in love and concern.

"Thanks," He said jokingly, his hands beginning to shake. He watched Thea's arm drop inches from his body. He was struck by the fact that she was afraid to touch him. Afraid that she would hurt him or make him uncomfortable. Maybe home wasn't what he needed right now.

"How can I help?" She asked at his silence.

"Can you take me somewhere?"

~~~~~~

Felicity sat across from Oliver and watched as his aura leaked the colors of a bruise, blue, yellow and purple. Its vibrancy dark and menacing. Whatever memories he was struggling with today were bad ones. She had felt the oppressive agony he was carrying, as he walked into her office and quietly asked for an emergency session.

His eyes looked everywhere, but at her. He was fighting with himself and she could only silently cheer him on.

"I don't want to talk about this....but I have too." He said as his eyes finally met hers.

"I don't want to live like this anymore. When rain, fraken rain can reduce me to this." He said as he lifted his shaking hands for her to see.

"Is this about your assault?" Felicity asked in a soothing cadence. She needed to talk him down from the anxiety.

"No...and yes." He whispered as he ran both of his hands through his hair then down the back of his neck where they hung till he placed them slowly and carefully back on the chair.

He was attempting to fortify his emotional walls. Trying to prevent their complete collapse. It didn't work.

"I had lost hope after they sent my "proof of life" photo and nothing happened. Days went by and nothing...happened..." He said as his walls came tumbling down to lay at his feet. With their collapse came a sonic boom of pain that engulfed Felicity and pulled her into his black hole.

~~~~~~~

_**Tiny had been the only tether to the world Oliver had after the violent beating. Every day he forced water down Oliver's throat when he could no longer took any in.** _

_**Oliver didn't know what happened or what to think as the days went by. Did his family even know where he was? Had they given up on him? What if the kidnappers had told them he was dead? No, they wouldn't do that. They wanted to milk the money. He couldn't think straight. Everything was fuzzy in his brain as he lay in his cage under the vast starless night.** _

_**Suddenly, the courtyard was flooded with light. It was so bright it hurt his eyes. Then gunfire erupted. What was happening? Were the kidnappers under attack? Were they there for Oliver? Please let them be there for him. Please!** _

_**Adrenaline surged through his body as he struggled to sit up and look around. He pushed himself towards the door of his cage and peered out as screams and gunfire rang out. Tiny ran up to his cage. Oliver wasn't sure if he was scared of the chaos or if Tiny was trying to help him.** _

_**"Tiny," Oliver choked out, his fear for his friend making his voice shake.** _

_**"Queen! I'm coming for you! You think you're going to get out of here. You're wrong." The man who had hurt him too many times that he'd lost count, shouted as he ran towards Oliver's cage.** _

_**"Tiny, move!" Oliver yelled, his voice hoarse from lack of use.** _

_**The child ran out of the way as the kidnapper raised his gun at Oliver and pulled the trigger. Oliver cowered as he waited to feel the pain of the gunshot. It never came.** _

_**"Oliver! Its Dig." John said, as he shot the locks off the cage and reached for Oliver. "Oliver, it's me."** _

_**Oliver couldn't believe that it was Diggle. He was alive and he was here for him. Diggle had shot the kidnapper. The man's dead body lay by the cage and it was the only thing Oliver could see. Oliver felt so much hate and sadness for one human being. None of this had to have happened. All the violence and death was such a waste.** _

_**"Come on, we don't have much time." Diggle dragged him out and tried to get Oliver to walk. Oliver’s legs gave out from under him. “Shit, Lyla take this.” Diggle said as he threw her his rifle and then lifted Oliver into his arms. “Come on Oliver, we’re almost home.”** _

_**They ran across the side of the compound as the sound of a hovering helicopter and gunfire increased. The noise was deafening as Oliver was jostled in Diggle’s arm. Then, Oliver’s eyes caught on a familiar figure.** _

_**“Tiny...Tiny...Dig!” Oliver’s voice was drowned out as the helicopter descended and Diggle jumped in with Oliver in his arms.** _

_**“Oliver, it’s okay. It’s me. We're taking you home.” Diggle screamed as Oliver fought and struggled against him.** _

_**“No, Dig...it’s Tiny, we need to get him.” Oliver said as he looked out the helicopter doors as Tiny ran towards them. “Please, Dig, help him…”** _

_**“Nooo!” Oliver screamed as he helplessly watched, as gunfire showered the side of the helicopter and the little child, his friend, was cut down through the curtain of gunfire. Diggle held on tighter as Oliver tried to get to the dying child. The image of bullets ripping through young flesh and blood spray from a headshot would forever be ingrained in Oliver’s mind.** _

_**“Oliver, it’s too late.” Diggle yelled over the sounds of the rotating blades and the suppression fire Lyla’s team let loose as the helicopter begun to lift. Oliver never stopped screaming as he watched blood begin to pool under Tiny's damaged skull.** _

_**“We need to go back Dig, I can’t just leave him there.” Oliver whispered to Diggle.** _

_**“Oliver, listen. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for everything. He’s gone…..He’s dead…. I need to get you home to your parents. Do you hear me? To your parents.” Diggle said as he held onto Oliver’s face to make sure Oliver understood.** _

_**“My parents. My Dad?” Oliver asked in disbelief.** _

_**“Yes...let’s go home.” Diggle said through the tears that formed in his eyes as he looked down at the broken young man he loved like a brother.** _

~~~~~~~~

Oliver got up and walked to the office windows. Fingers of lightning sprinkled through the sky as he silently stood up to his demons.

Felicity slowly blinked away the darkness she had faced alongside Oliver as she soaked up the faint rays of sunlight that filtered through her office. The sky was a boiling cauldron of emotions just like Oliver.

She flexed her fingers as she unclenched her fists. She had discreetly held onto herself as the magnitude of Oliver's emotional pain battered and hammered at her as he shared his darkest memory. He blamed himself for the death of a child. The death of his friend. Her heart wept with him.

She survived the session, but she would never know how he survived two years with it locked within himself. He was an incredible man.

She walked over and stood next to him. They both looked out over the city, but not really seeing any of it.

“The local authorities later raided the compound and took the rest of the rebels into custody. They found Tiny's body. They told me later that the rebels took orphans off the street and forced them to work at their compound. They didn’t know if Tiny had any family….how can I live a life when he died because of me. If it hadn't been for him, I don't think I would have hung on and survived long enough to be rescued. I don't deserve to feel joy or happiness. Because I was there... he died.”

“You honor the dead by living. You honor his kindness by remembering him. You live for him, Oliver.” Felicity said with a conviction he wanted to share.

Oliver looked at his reflection in the window and glimpsed a man who desperately wanted to forgive himself. Felicity's words were ones he desperately needed to hear and to believe.

Could he truly honor his friend by living his life? Could Oliver forgive himself?

He...could try.

Oliver made a private and solemn vow to himself to be a man worthy of Tiny's brief, yet profound legacy.

He still hurt as he thought of him, but the relief of sharing who Tiny was and what happened to him, was a balm over Oliver's open wounds.

Felicity watched as so many emotions played across Oliver’s face. His aura was slowly glowing and the colors bleeding into what she now knew to be his true colors. Red and green gently wrapped themselves around his body. A blanket of peace that was a new shield allowing him to heal. Her body relaxed as his did.

“Thank you.” He said as he finally turned to her. They stood so close that she could feel the heat from his body.

“I’m a good listener.” She replied with a lopsided grin as they stood comfortably side by side. It took Oliver right back to the night he first saw her and that smile. It felt like so long ago now. He wasn't that hopeless man anymore. He still had a long road of recovery ahead of him, but Oliver now felt, hope.

“And you?” He asked as his eyes roamed over her face. His gaze a soft touch of concern.

“Me?”

“It was an intense session.”

“Oh...I'm okay, Oliver. Truly.” She replied as she fought against the intense need to touch him in reassurance. She had never felt the urge to comfort one of her patients the way she wanted to comfort Oliver. He had made a breakthrough today and she was proud of him.

Her toes curled as a visceral awareness and attraction for him as more than a patient flared. His inherent masculinity and good looks had always attracted her, but now coupled with his kindness and integrity, he was breathtaking.

Private alarms started to go off in her head as her mind fought with her body. No, she was not falling for her patient, she told herself. She was just emotional after the session. Yes, that's what this was.

“Um, I better check on my sister, Thea. She brought me here.” Oliver said as he saw the signs of stress in her eyes. He struggled against reaching out and trying to soothe them all away. He was such a mess right now. What the hell was he thinking? Felicity was his therapist, not...more, he needed to remember that. He had always been attracted to her, but some days were harder to ignore it than others. The boundaries were becoming blurred as he spent more time with her.

Felicity could only shake her head in agreement. She wasn’t sure what to say as she tried to tamper down her needs. Her very, inappropriate needs.

Felicity walked him out to the waiting area where the young woman, who was with Oliver that night at the bar, stood up as they entered.

“Ollie, are you okay?” Oliver's sister said as she rushed over to hug him, but then stopped short. Felicity watched as Oliver continued walking forward and took the surprised woman into his arms. Felicity could see that the hug had startled his sister before she eagerly returned it.

Oliver could feel Thea's love surround him just like her arms were. It felt so good to be able to show her how much he missed her and how much he cared about her. Oliver was overwhelmed with his final acceptance to allow himself the freedom to feel something...good. It was okay to feel, and show and be loved.

They hugged for what felt like hours.

“Ollie…” Thea said as she kissed his cheek. Her eyes wet with emotion. She ran her hand down his cheek to rest on his chest. Oliver smiled back through his own tears. They started laughing as Emma brought a box of tissue over to them.

“We keep a lot of these around.” Emma said as she smiled back at them.

“Thea, I’d like you to meet Emma and Dr. Felicity Smoak.”

“Thea, it’s very nice to meet you, oompfh.” Felicity said as Thea embraced her.

“Thank you, Dr. Smoak. If you have anything to do with why my brother is smiling and why he just gave me that incredible hug, then you deserve one too.” Thea said as she then turned around and hugged Emma. “You too, Emma.”

Everyone smiled and laughed as Thea endeared herself to them just as she would have endeared herself to Tiny, Oliver thought. Tiny would have liked Thea and he knew that Thea would have loved him.

“We better get going Speedy.” Oliver said as he looked over at Felicity with a slight blush in his cheeks. He was proud of his sister and the lovely woman she was.

“Okay.”

“I’ll call and make my next appointment.” Oliver said to Felicity as he followed Thea into the elevator.

Felicity smiled at them both before a piercing, ice cold feeling took over her entire body and a pitch black aura enveloped Thea and Oliver right as the elevator doors closed.

“Oh my god, Emma….Emma get me Oliver on his cell phone!”

“What..”

“NOW, Emma. NOW!”


	9. Chapter 9

Oliver held Thea’s hand as they walked through the underground parking garage to her car. They pulled out into the main street talking about where they could get some dinner.

He smiled as he thought about asking Thea to just drive them to his apartment and have pizza delivered.

Oliver felt emotionally lighter, but exhausted at the same time. Finally sharing how special Tiny was and what happened to him, lifted some of the chains of guilt that had imprisoned his soul since the day Tiny had died.

His mobile phone began to jiggle and buzz in his suit pocket. He looked at the screen and was surprised to see Felicity’s office name on the screen next to 4 missed calls. His mobile reception must have been hindered in the concrete garage.

“Hello..”

“Oliver, it's Felicity. Where are you?" Her voice controlled, but quick and precise. Oliver instantly knew something wasn't right.

"We're driving on highway 1..."

"Get off the road. Don’t question me, just get off the road, NOW!” Felicity forcibly ordered him.

“What..”

“NOW, Oliver. NOW!”

“Thea, pull over.” Oliver reached for Thea’s arm.

“Oli..”

“NOW!" Oliver yelled, before Thea pulled the car off to the side of the road. Their bodies jerking forward at the force of her stomping on the brakes.

A second later a semi-truck ran through its red light and careened into the car in front of them as it crossed the intersection. The sound of crushing metal and screeching tires across the rain soaked road was deafening.

Thea and Oliver sat in stunned silence within their car.

"Ollie, how did..." Thea turned to him and asked.

"Are you okay?" Oliver leaned over to check if she was hurt before reaching for his phone. Felicity was still on the line.

"Felicity? We’re okay. We're both okay. My god, how did you know? I'm so sorry, I need to call 911, there's been an accident in front of us. I need to get off the phone." Oliver said quickly not giving Felicity anytime to answer and hung up. He was in emergency mode and adrenaline was kicking in.

"Thea, call 911. I'm going to check if I can help..." Oliver instructed Thea before he got out of the car and rushed over to the twisted metal carnage.

~~~~~~

Felicity waited for a call back from Oliver, but it had been over two hours. She didn't quite know what to do. Did she call him, but he was in the middle of an accident. Had he gone to the hospital or was he helping the police? She didn't know what to do. Emma finally talked her into going home. They were both shaken from Felicity's premonition, that they decided just to close the office for the day.

Felicity was so grateful for Emma. She had accepted Felicity and her eccentricities from the moment Felicity shared her gift with her. Of course, when she had told Emma, Emma had gone off on one of her rambles and into great detail about a book series she was reading, about an Empath and a tortured vigilante. They had bonded over wine and the appreciation of the unknown and mysteries of life.

Felicity found another care package at her door when she arrived home and completely broke down in tears. The kindness and love of her family combined with the emotions she shared during Oliver's breakthrough session and then the horror of “feeling” their deaths was just too much for Felicity. A tidal wave of horror, fear and then relief flowed out of her. She had never felt someone's death before. The complete extinguishment of a life force and the black void of any and all emotion was something she never, ever wished to feel again.

She hadn't known what would happen to Oliver and Thea or where or when. Her gift only reflected a person's emotions, not what was causing them. She only knew something awful was going to occur. Her only priority was to stop Oliver from whatever he was doing. She was so incredibly grateful that her split second decision to have them get off the road was the correct one. Could she have lived with herself if it hadn't been? She cringed at the thought.

She let out all of her fear and cried till she was exhausted. When she felt she could finally talk, she pressed her number 2 on speed dial.

"Hello, honey." Her Grandmother's beloved voice came over the line and it made Felicity begin crying all over again.

She sniffled and blubbered her way through tears and hiccups as she shared everything that happened since the night she first met Oliver. She wasn't surprised to hear her grandmother felt "something" was going on, thus the care packages.

She told Felicity how proud she was that she was there to save Oliver and Thea. And finished with remarking on what a unique and interesting man Oliver Queen must be to affect her granddaughter in such a way. How he must be a very special man to be felt through her barriers.

"Grandmama, stop playing matchmaker. He's my patient."

"I'm not matchmaking. I'm simply observing." She replied, her smile reaching through the phone line to warm Felicity's heart. Her grandmother's comments didn't help the already conflicted emotions Felicity was now carrying about Oliver.

Felicity said her goodbyes and hung up. Her cell phone signaled an incoming text as she lay it on the counter. It was her office answering service. It read she had a voice message left on her office line.

Felicity dialed into her voicemail and found Oliver had left a message. She was so relieved that he had made contact.

"Felicity, I...didn't have your cell number so, I'm leaving this message on your calling service. I wanted to let you know we are okay. It took awhile for us to give the police a witness report and finally get home. I brought Thea home with me and she's sleeping now. I...I know your gift saved us...how can I ever thank you enough? I need to see you in the morning, okay? Okay, and Felicity, I hope you're alright, too." He sounded completely exhausted and when he said her name; his kindness and concern made her heart melt and her stomach flutter. She was so grateful to hear his voice and he had...acknowledged and thanked her for her gift. She slowly sat down on the bar stool as the impact of his belief in her, sunk in. Wow.

~~~~~~~~~~

Felicity couldn’t sleep. How could she after everything that happened the night before? She made her way into the office earlier than Emma and struggled to stay focused. Every time the phone rang Felicity expected it to be Oliver.

Lying awake most of the night, Felicity finally faced the fact that Oliver meant more to her than just a patient. She had connected with him on such an intimate level from the start. She admired his love for his family and his strength of character. He had never scoffed at her gift and respected her. He had accepted her. All of her. The most secret part of her, her gift, was so foreign and alien to most of the world and he accepted it

Felicity had never been so conflicted over what to do. Oliver had been special and unique from the first moment she saw him. So, it didn't surprise her that he would affect her, yet again, unlike anyone else in her life. It would seem he was meant to be her exception.

She needed to tamper down and control her feelings for him. He was her patient and his therapy was the most important thing right now. Her feelings meant nothing and it would have to remain that way. She needed to do this, for Oliver.

“Dr. Smoak, Mr. Queen is here to see you.” Emma’s voice came across the speaker phone.

“Send him in, Emma.”

Felicity was so nervous she didn’t know what to expect. Oliver walked in and closed the door. He stood there just staring at her, his red and green colors lush and pulsing. His feelings of comfort and a swell of yearning enveloped Felicity.

She was so relieved and happy to see him and when his emotions reached across and sensually entwined themselves with her needs, she just...reacted. All of her best intentions melted away and she just gave in. She knew it was a mistake she would regret the rest of her life, but she couldn't stop herself. She walked up to him and hugged him.

She made her choice. There was no going back and a great sadness filled her heart.

He felt so good in her arms. So, alive. Warm, not ice cold and lit with an internal light. She savored this one moment with him.

Oliver hadn’t expected a hug, but damn if it didn’t feel good. He had needed their connection, too. He had needed her. His arms encircled her as he pulled her close; slowly lowering his face into the corner of her neck and just breathed her in. Her body supple and contoured; enticing him to explore and learn every curve. They embraced for far longer than was appropriate.

He knew with this hug, things had changed irrevocably between the two of them.

He held on tighter as she begun to release her hold on him. He moved his lips to her ear, the intoxicating scent of honeysuckle and woman surrounded him, as he closed his eyes and whispered, "I can't see you, anymore."


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: I wanted to thank everyone for all the encouragement and excitement you shared with me as we traveled on this journey with Oliver and Felicity. I’m planning on posting the last chapter this Saturday. Lots of love to all of you!**

**~~~~~~~**

She had felt him return her hug and for a moment she was just a woman, not his therapist. But as Oliver's words sank in, she awkwardly stepped back from him.

Her unprofessionalism was unforgivable.

She knew she shouldn't have touched him. She had been selfish for once in her life and she felt awful that she may have made him uncomfortable.

Her heart sank and despair, all her own, begun to radiate from the middle of her chest.

“I'm not handling this very well." Oliver said as he nervously ran his fingers through his hair. "I can't see you for..therapy, anymore."

"I understand." Felicity said as she walked away from him to stand behind her desk. She didn't want him to see how much she was hurting. She had come to that exact same conclusion before she hugged him, but to hear him say it out loud, magnified everything.

Concentrate past your pain, Felicity. This is not about you. It has never been about you she reminded herself. This is about Oliver and you need to make sure he's going to be okay.

"Actually, you don't." Oliver said as he followed after her and stood on the opposite side of her desk.

Her desk had become a barrier they were both using to protect their hearts. "It's been a long time for me. I don't quite know how to do this sort of thing anymore."

"What sort of thing?" Felicity asked, thoroughly confused now.

"I can't see you as my therapist anymore, because....I would like to see you in a personal capacity...would you like to go out to dinner..with me?" He asked.

Felicity was caught completely off guard. She thought he was firing her because of the hug and her unprofessionalism.

"Dinner? As in a date, date?"

"Yes, as in a date, date." Oliver said with a huge smile. He was so proud of himself for being able to say those words. He knew he had had feelings for Felicity since the first night they met and he hoped after her hug, that she might feel something for him, too. His near death experience last night had reminded him of so many things that were important in life. One of them being, love.

He woke up that morning actually looking forward to the new day. His acknowledgment of Tiny and with Thea and he nearly dying, he couldn't wait to try to live again.

He was given a second chance at a second chance.

And he was grabbing it by the reins and jumping on for the ride. Felicity was an incredibly special person to him and he wanted to explore those feelings.

"I...." Felicity responded as she tried to gather her wits. She was stunned. Felicity knew she had feelings for him, but she hadn't been sure what he felt. And she still wasn't sure what Oliver was feeling. She could "feel" his interest and desire towards her, but the reasons for them...were never part of her gift. Even with her special insight, why people felt what they felt would always be a mystery, just as it would be to a non-Empath.

"I'm hoping you'll say, yes." He said as he stood in front of her, his reds and greens so vibrant and rich that Felicity felt like crying as she looked at his beautiful, beautiful face. She could feel hope and excitement wash over her. His hope and his excitement. Oh, how she wished she could say yes. She wanted to scream yes, but she...couldn't.

"Oliver, I...can't." Her heart reached out to him hoping he would understand. "I've come to care deeply for you Oliver, but...I fear you may be feeling things for me because I've helped you. Patients tend to have this reaction to their therapists."

"Felicity, believe me this isn't because you're my therapist. I've had feelings for you from the moment I first saw you." Oliver said as he tried to make her understand how important she was too him. She cared for him. His heart filled with joy and fear at the same time. She had also said, no. He could see she was hurting.

"Oliver, I've become this confidant. This person that has helped you find your way towards healing and feeling better. How could you be sure that what you're feeling for me, isn't because of that? How could I be sure?" She said, pleading with him to understand her concerns.

"Felicity.." He whispered as he watched her pain turn into resolution. He wanted to fight for her. This incredible and vibrant woman he didn't want to lose.

"I've seen this happen in therapy. It's not a bad thing or something to be ashamed of. It's part of who we are as human beings. It's only human to feel something towards me."

"I know what.."

"Oliver, please. It's hard enough for me to say no." Felicity whispered, hoping and dreading he would stop. She watched his aura dim and then his emotional touch trailed down the length of her body till it finally withdrew.

"Okay." With her entreaty and plea, Oliver stopped...pushing. His heart was breaking. He could see vulnerability and sadness in her eyes. He would not push what was not welcomed. He didn't want to hurt her anymore.

Was what she spoke of, true? Was his attraction and feelings wrapped up in his appreciation and gratefulness? No, he didn't think so, but she said she had seen this happen. No matter what she thought it was, he knew in his heart, what he felt for her was true. It hurt him to pull back from her. From the one person who made him feel whole again, but he would respect her wishes. He would let her go.

Though the haze of his pain he knew that he wanted and needed to part with her as friends. She was too important to him to do otherwise.

"About what happened yesterday, thank you for everything. Thank you for saving our lives. It must have been just as traumatic for you as it was for us. I'm still stunned." He said as he stepped back from her emotionally and physically, giving her the space he knew she needed. Every inch away from her destroyed him.

"It was. Your auras turned black and a coldness, I had never felt before, swept over me. I've never experienced that before." And it felt like she was feeling it all over again. She fought the fear of losing him. She was cold and bereft of all emotion, except pain, as she forced herself to let him go.

Maybe she was wrong about this, but she could never be sure she wasn't hurting him by getting involved with him. Oliver would always be her priority. She needed to ensure he was emotionally healthy as he begun his next chapter in life. His journey towards self forgiveness.

"How did you know about the truck?"

"I didn't. I just knew I had to stop you from doing whatever you were doing. It was a crazy, lucky guess Oliver." She said with sad smile.

"You're remarkable, Felicity Smoak." He said as they both smiled at each other with shared heartache and gratefulness. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. I'm thankful I could help you. I'm thankful I could help you in everything, Oliver....may I suggest a new therapist for you?" She gently offered as her heart broke into a million pieces.

He looked at her one last time and nodded his acceptance.

"I'll have Emma call you with my referral. Be well, Oliver." Felicity said as she folded her arms across her chest, trying not to stop him from leaving.

"Goodbye, Felicity."

"Goodbye, Oliver."


	11. Chapter 11

The first few days after Oliver left her care, Felicity felt more than she had ever felt before. She was overwhelmed with it all. Her dreams were filled with him and she fought against waking up every morning. In her fantasies she could love him the way she wanted to. She could just...be.

The pain and emptiness, from the loss of Oliver in her life, gradually merged with the deep resolution that letting him go had been for the best. They had needed time apart. She never doubted her decision was the correct one, it was just one that ripped her entire being apart.

When she was asked to forward his records to the therapist she had recommended to him, her soul, healed.

He was continuing treatment and with one of the best psychiatrists in Starling. She was so happy to hear that. She had worried she may have damaged his progress with her decision to no longer treat him.

The state of her heart was another matter entirely.

It woke from her dreams to the realization that she wouldn't see him again or hear his voice or share in any aspect of his life. It missed his kindness and generosity of spirit, but what it missed the most, was just, him. It always would.

It amazed her how a person could have such a profound impact on another's life, with such a fleeting touch. Oliver's on hers and Tiny's upon his.

Felicity learned to live with half her heart. Apparently, one could do that. She learned to laugh and smile again, just not as loudly or as brightly.

As leaves transformed into their seasonal fall colors and then a white winter land swept over the city, the weeks turned into six months.

Felicity would occasionally see an article about Queen Consolidated or hear a snippet of news on Oliver and each time she did, she consoled herself with the fact that he was moving towards a healthier and happier life. She was proud of him and her part in his journey. She could only hope that he was happy.

Emma walked into her office and placed a green envelope on her desk. Felicity looked up from her typing with a question in her eyes.

"Delivered by private messenger," Emma said before closing the door behind her.

Felicity picked up the expensive stationary and read her name elegantly scrawled across the front.

Who would be sending her something by private messenger? She opened the envelope and pulled out a card inviting her to attend a fundraising gala for a children's fund called, 'Tiny Lights Of Hope.'

Her breath caught as she read it was a charity founded by Oliver Queen.

She smiled tenderly as she ran her finger across the name he had chosen for his philanthropy. Dear, dear Tiny. He would never be forgotten.

~~~~

Oliver knew exactly what he felt for Felicity Smoak. Desire, admiration and most importantly respect. She had stood in front of him six months ago, with heartache and longing in her eyes, and made a decision he could never have made. He understood why she did what she did, he just, well, he missed her.

He'd thought he'd seen her a few times on the street or in a store or a restaurant. A flash of a blonde ponytail or a bright color would catch his eye, but it would never be her.

He had wanted to call her to hear her voice. He had wanted to shower her with gifts and flowers. He had wanted to make her laugh and smile and wipe away the pain he’d seen in her eyes when they’d said goodbye. He had wanted to do so many things to show her that he cared, but the most important thing he did do, was respect her wishes. It was the only reason he stayed away. She had said, no.

What would she say if she knew he still felt those feelings and more? They hadn't disappeared when she had. That they had actually grown and matured into a love that became a permanent part of him. The part he kept secretly away in a corner of his heart that was...just hers.

His feelings for her helped him strive towards healing. He had his good days and his bad. Nightmares and guilt still lingered and reared their ugly heads, but he was...living. He was living, loving and being loved.

As the months passed, he had diligently stayed in therapy and worked hard to repair and rebuild himself and his relationships.

Weekly dinners with his parents were now held at his place, where he cooked for and experimented on them with exotic recipes. He attended baseball games; with childhood friends like Tommy and Sara who playfully heckled umpires with renewed vigor.

He had even started a new hobby of Archery on a recommendation from Dig. A few of his veteran friends from the military had started it as a part of their therapy for PTSD. Oliver took to the discipline and challenge, of a bow and arrow, surprisingly well.

And then there was his relationship with his sister, Thea. She had been the impetus that started his therapy and she was also the reason he had met Felicity. Thea had begged and cajoled him till he had finally agreed to go out with her on that fateful night to his neighborhood bar. The bar where his life had crossed with Felicity's.

Thea was also the one who had asked him to seek help. She had been there to take him to Felicity when the world was crashing down around him and she had been there with him the night they almost died. She had peppered him with so many questions about how he had known to pull over and all he could say, was that it wasn't his secret to tell. She had realized then and there, how special Felicity was and how special she was, to him.

Thea didn't push him to explain why he stopped seeing Felicity after that fateful night in the car, but she knew it had been extremely hard for Oliver afterwards. Hundreds of texts messages and phone calls checking on him were a testament to her concern.

"Thank you, Thea." Oliver said in her ear as they danced across the dance floor. He didn't know what he would do without all the people in his life who loved him. He felt so much love.

The ballroom where they were holding Oliver's fundraiser was a Christmas wonderland. Hundreds of twinkling white lights and fresh garland hung all along the elegant room. The faint scent of Christmas trees floated everywhere as the soft glow of candles warmly lit the room.

"For what?" Thea asked, her ball gown flowing around her ankles as he turned her.

"Am I dreaming?" Oliver whispered as he abruptly stopped dancing in the middle of the dance floor. Thea followed his gaze to see, Dr. Felicity Smoak walk into the far end of the ballroom. She was gorgeous, dressed in a crimson red gown with a slit on the side. It drew your eyes up her long shapely leg that seemed to go on forever and ever. Thea was so pleased to see she had come.

"This is when you really thank me, Ollie." She said with a huge smirk as she watched her brother stare slack jawed at Felicity.

"Thea? What did you do?" He growled as he looked between her and Felicity.

"Something you should have done a long time ago. Let's go say, hello. Come on, she won't bite. Or maybe that's what you want." Thea giggled as she dragged a stunned Oliver across the room.

~~~~

Felicity was so nervous. Was this a mistake? Maybe she shouldn't have come, but she had wanted to see him so badly. She took in the festive Christmas decorations and all the people enjoying the event. It looked like the fundraiser was a success. She was so happy for Oliver.

She glanced around the ballroom, then saw Thea Queen walking towards her through the crowd and Oliver right behind her. Everything and everyone in the room...disappeared. Every sound and person melted away as her senses only saw and felt Oliver.

Everything about her soaked in everything about him. He was so beautiful. She had always had a visceral reaction to him, but now, after so long, he was almost too much for her to bear. Intense, breathtakingly chiseled and incredibly sexy. And he was looking right at her.

Oliver was dressed in a three piece tuxedo and walked across the room like he owned it. His confidence and self assurance was something to behold.

His aura exuded power and a seductive red and green that called to her on so many levels. There was no debilitating pain. There was no oppressive agony. Just pure unadulterated...intent.

This wasn’t the Oliver Queen she knew, but then...it was. His feelings of tenderness, as familiar as his beloved face; caressed and stroked her emotions, waking them from their dormant sleep.

And then... a delicious wave of desire, strong and explicit licked across her curves as if his lips were on her skin. She closed her eyes briefly as she felt their connection pull and suck her in once again. It was like sliding on a silk robe. Sensuous and soft to the touch as it wrapped around her body.

Felicity shivered and her nipples tightened as she burned up from the inside out. Her body ignited from the maelstrom of their combined emotions. He was on fire for her just as much as she was for him.

Oliver devoured everything about Felicity as he walked up to her. The crowd seemed to part like the Red Sea as he followed after Thea. He had been angry at Thea for just a second, only because he was caught off guard, but now he was going to buy her lots and lots of pretty sparkly things after this. She had brought Felicity back into his life and that was a splendid thing, indeed.

"Dr. Smoak, I'm so happy you accepted MY invitation." Thea said as she hugged Felicity, then turned and entwined their arms as they stood staring at Oliver.

"Your invitation?" Felicity replied as she looked nervously between Thea and a very quiet Oliver.

"Yes, I thought this would be a lovely way to get you and my brother to talk. Now, if you'll excuse me. I'm off to schmooze." Thea said as she walked away like she hadn't just dropped a bomb in Felicity's lap.

"Oliver, I'm so sorry, I thought you had sent that invitation to me." Felicity said with cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

He didn't immediately respond. His eyes drinking her in like she was an oasis to his starved senses. Was she there for him? Could he dare to hope?

Could he open himself to her completely and...would she want him?

He was willing to try. Oliver carefully gathered every single ounce of love and joy he held for her and..."shared" it.

“You thought I invited you, and....you still came?” He said as his hopes and dreams hung on her answer. Could she feel his love?

Felicity knew he was asking her questions far deeper than the words spoken. He was asking her if she came here for him. Had she missed him as much as he missed her? Was she ready to try?

A warmth, ethereal and all encompassing, begun to emanate from the tips of her toes to the most private depths of her heart. As it spread across the lonely and hungry landscape of her emotional grid, Felicity was left breathless as she "felt" him give her his entire heart. She wanted to cry from the beauty of it. After all this time, he loved her. It was the most exquisite gift she had ever received.

“Yes,” She whispered with a conviction as strong as the day she had said goodbye. Her eyes overflowing with a love returned two fold. Yes, she came here for him. Yes, she missed him as much as he missed her and yes, she was ready. Yes.

She said....yes. He could feel her love in every breath she shared with him. In every letter of the word she whispered. He was so amazingly happy and he didn't want to waste another moment of his life without her.

"Dance with me," Oliver said as he held out his hand to her. He wasn’t asking and that made her want him even more. His voice commanding and hypnotic. Its rich baritone making her wet, hot and hungry. She was so hungry for him.

She placed her hand in his and she was...home. Her heart was whole again.

Lust rippled through her entire body at their touch. ‘Just breathe,’ Felicity chanted over and over in her head as Oliver led her to the dance floor.

Oliver unexpectedly twirled her in a graceful turn and then gently pulled her into his arms. Felicity laughed up at him in surprise as he smiled down at her. He had never heard her laugh before and it was like the entire room lit up. With her in his life, he’d never be in the dark again.

She made him feel all male, not broken. Never broken. She never had. His entire world was so perfect right now. She was perfect.

"You look beautiful," Oliver said as they slowly swayed to the music. Their bodies gravitating towards each other like it was the most natural thing in the world.

"I was just thinking that about you." Felicity whispered so only he could hear. Her hand slowly traveled up along his tuxedo lapel to curl around the back of his neck. She threaded her fingers into the silky hair above his collar as his hand spread wide against her lower back.

"Really?" He asked quietly, his eyes closing at the pleasure of her touch. He wanted her under him, over him, anywhere, gasping and needy.

"Mmhm." She said as her hips instinctively curved around his hard thigh seeking relief. Oliver's lust was pounding at her just the way she needed his body to be. She blushed, as naughty thoughts of what she wanted to do and what she wanted him to do flashed through her mind. She was so ready for a life with Oliver Queen.

"Felicity?"

"Yes," She whispered.

"Do you like Italian?"

"I love Italian.”

 

~~~~~~  
The End  
Thank you everyone!! I hope you enjoyed the story. XO


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